


Dysphoria

by radiochattertherapy (murderousCohort)



Series: Bars Of A Certain Kind [10]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Suicide mention, personal, self-harm mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 01:53:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5029153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murderousCohort/pseuds/radiochattertherapy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Again, trigger warnings for self-harm, dysphoria, and suicidal thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dysphoria

they tell you as you breathe your difference in every step “you, you are wrong”

they tell you that the hatred you feel for the skin (that still sticks, gods, how it sticks) is natural, to embrace it 

they whisper sweet poison in your ear and make-believe that sex is freedom and that breasts make you beautiful and that you. you are wrong and you are a fool and you are horrible and 

anyway, the list goes on. 

you feel so trapped. trapped in this concrete jungle full of lights that blind you and artificial heat and the pollution of a thousand toxic chemicals. 

it has been brought to my attention that someone thinks im needy and that im here to take your attention and that all i want is to bother you and that's not what i want

i want you to be happy

i want to be happy

i have been broken, it seems, since birth, when i took my first breath seven minutes into life

i have been broken for so long

fourteen years is 5,292 days (approximately) and i have been broken every second (7,621,200 of them) 

i bleed sluggish lead and the lead is swirled with arsenic and i am toxic and i am horrible and i should never, never, breathe again

the cuts up my leg like a ladder promise that i am worthless (but worthy at the same time, how the hellfuck does that work even) and i caress the scars and let salt drip on them like soft mercury to earth

when i sleep i dream of angels taking me home


End file.
